Entry 013: Darkside Zodiac

The following zodiacal excerpts are from "Darkside Zodiac" by Stella Hyde. Not everything in this world about your Signs is all rainbows and butterflies. This will take us all on an adventure to facing Ego and learning more about ourselves that some of our friends or family wouldn't have the balls to admit to us. If you are easily offended, please do not read any of the articles posted as "DS " as they are very honest and straightforward. I will be posting up a new zodiac sign every Friday, so be on the lookout for your own if you feel you have the courage to face yourself. This is to allow for true inner sight into the things that block us in life so that we may fix them and move forward with our own personal growth. So strap in and enjoy your ride through the Darkside of the Zodiac. - Sacred Flame

Introduction

You know what you're really like--so do I

 Before we go any farther, look at the title of this book. [Darkside Zodiac.] What does it say? Darkside. That means you are going to be reading some wince-making stuff about yourselves. There are no jolly Brightside platitudes, because there is quite enough of that kind of thing in the world, and every silver lining has to have a cloud. I don't want you writing in--you have been warned; anybody who is but a fragile blossom on life's maelstrom had better put the book down now; don't give it to anyone whose self-esteem is running at zero pressure.

Don't Blame Me, It's Written In the Stars

It's not just your sun sign; there are other darkforces out there to make things even worse:

• Your ruling planet: The Sun, Moon, or any one of the solar system's nine aimlessly orbiting rocks (apart from Earth, of course), each of which looks after one or more signs and imposes its disgusting habits.
• The Moon, which is in charge of your dark, inner soul, frightful moods, and uncontrollable emotions; just how much of a prima-donna you are depends on where the Moon was throwing a hissy fit when you were thrust into this vale of tears.
• Your rising sign: as the Earth creaks around on its axis, it appears to us that a new zodiac sign passes overhead every two hours or so. Your rising sign is the one that peeped balefully over the eastern horizon at the exact minute you fell to Earth.
• The psychotic duo, Venus (planet lust) and Mars (planet psychowarrior); you'll need a birth chart to find out what havoc they wreak.
• Your opposite sign--this is the fascinating badboy [or girl] (six signs away from your own) your mom told you to keep away from.

Unredeeming Features

Each sun sign hangs around street corners with one of four elements: Fire, Earth, Air or Water--think of them as the style in which you express your cosmic sloth. Plus, there are three sorts of qulities: cardinal, fixed, and mutable. The qualities combine with the elements so that no single sign is exactly the same. This means we are all insufferable in our own special way. Each sign is also masculine or feminine. It's nothing personal; think of it as positive/negative.

  Living With the Darkside

And how does all this affect you? Well, read on and weep. We look at your shameful personality, your pathetic work, relationship, and sex lives, criminal tendencies, how appalling you are to live with, and how you try to have fun in your own miserable way. And we end with a list of others who share your patch in the zodiac. So go on, suffer!

Rifraff Elements

• Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius): Brightsiders say impulsive! Darksiders say reckless sociopath.
• Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn): Brightsiders say solid! Darksiders say pig-headed fusspot.
• Air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius): Brightsiders say intellectual! Darksiders say free-floating airhead.
• Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces): Brightsiders say nurturing! Darksiders say moody whiner.

 It's Quality Time

Quality is just another word for attitude; on the Darkside, that's bad attitude.

• Cardinal signs (Aries, Cancer, Libra, Capricorn): bossy; this is the quality that initiates disasters.
• Fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius): stubborn; this is the quality that never deviates.
• Mutable signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces): fickle; this is the quality that ensures chaos and mess.